


Unity

by Mask



Category: DRAMAtical Murder (Visual Novel)
Genre: Inner Demons, M/M, Man vs. Self, Metaphysical Realm, Self-Acceptance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-25
Updated: 2014-12-25
Packaged: 2018-03-03 10:58:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2848445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mask/pseuds/Mask
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stuck in his own mind, Aoba has to face his inner demon. But what does it mean when they meet face to face?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Another one for mezmere! Also written about a year ago.

The beach water splashed against my ankles. It was nice, calm—the sky was a soft, sort of peachy orange. Huh, I’ve never seen it that colour before. Maybe I have, and I just haven’t taken notice. I crouched down and touched the sand, letting my fingers trail over the wet, grainy texture. It felt… so real. Just a few moments ago, wasn’t I in that tower? With Koujaku? Noiz? Clear? Mink? And…

I turned and looked behind me. I called out Ren’s name, but there was no response. Just a seemingly endless expanse of sand and somewhere far, far in the distance, there were trees. The calming atmosphere suddenly felt isolating and estranged. I needed to find a way out of here, but…

Where would I go?

Great. I was stuck in some beach world, separated from everyone else. Were they safe? Did they take down the tower? Was I asleep? Did I… I reached up and held my neck, swallowing thickly. Did I die? Is that why I’m here? I looked around again with new interest, letting my hand slip away from my neck. If I really died here, then it was really nice. I could get used to a place like this. Maybe if I died, the others got away safely. 

            “… Ah! I can’t stand around thinking like this!” I growled, shaking my head and eliminating those thoughts.

After a long while of walking (and a few thoughts aimed towards swimming), I finally stopped walking and let out a groan of frustration. It was pointless to wander aimlessly without a plan. I was right. The beach was practically endless. I stared at those trees far off in the distance, but they just gave me false hope. Even if I could reach them, what would be waiting for me inside?

            “Shit,” I muttered to myself. “How am I going to get out of here?”

            “Talking to yourself?” came an airy voice.

I looked up, and I saw that the person standing across from me was… me.

I took a step back instinctively, and this white version of me tilted his head to the right. He stared at me with a slightly bored expression, but I could tell that he was examining me. He was looking over me like a predator, sizing me up. I thought I was being paranoid, but I couldn’t help it. I knew that voice; I knew _this_ person. I knew the thoughts that he was capable of. Unfortunately capable of…

            “Stop staring at me,” I snapped, feeling my shoulders tense up.

            “It’s like staring at a mirror,” he mused, voice still lazy and distant. And then his eyes met mine. “In a theme park.”

            “Oi…” I growled out, standing more solidly to face him. “You’re still _me_ ; don’t forget that.”

            “No,” he stated very simply, shaking his head. “I’m not you in a way. We share the same body, but our minds are completely different.”

            “Yeah, you’re right. Your mind is completely twisted. It’s nothing like me.”

            “But these twisted thoughts came from _you_.”

            “You’re contradicting yourself!”

He… giggled. He brought up one hand to his mouth. His eyes squinted, and his nose scrunched up when he smiled. It was a childish, evil smile. But more importantly, he was laughing at _me_. I was stating facts! 

            “No, no, no. Your _life_ is a cause for _my_ thoughts. Even though I hate it,” his expression dropped then, “you’re the one in control. So your thoughts, your experiences—they all filter down to me.”

            “Are you… are you saying I created you?” 

He laughed then, but it was dry and humourless. Again, he was laughing at me but in such in arrogant way. I wondered if I punched him if it would hurt me too. He looked at me with an exasperated look, as though he were talking to an idiot! I really wanted to punch him.

            “Aoba,” he stated my name as though he were reprimanding me, “I’ve _always_ been here. And you know it.”

I sucked in a breath through my nose. I didn’t want to admit it to him. I didn’t want to say it at first, or even think it in my own head. The headaches… have always been there. The coiling and conflicting thoughts have always been there. And as much as I hate it, _he_ has always been there. 

Deep inside my soul, he and I were always together. And I hated that realisation more than anything.


	2. Chapter 2

The Other stared at me for a long moment, and my hands curled and uncurled into angry fists. I didn’t know what to say, and I was breathing angrily through my nose. I needed to keep myself calm, but our conversation had gone on for too long. He was trying to convince me that we were the same and somehow different, and I adamantly told him that he’s the reason things have been out of control in my life.

            “Because of you! Mink and I have…”

            “It was amazing, wasn’t it?” 

I think that was the moment I snapped. I took a few hurried struts forward and then I tackled him. I heard his head hit the sand heavily, and he groaned. But the smile on his face betrayed any pain. I stared down at him in disgust. 

            “Did you think that was funny? Did you make things _‘interesting’_? What did I have to gain from that?”

            “You gained a lifelong partner.”

            “What?! How?!”

            “The best bonds are forged in blood. Think of it as a sacrifice.” His hand reached up to touch me. “You came to understand him better, didn’t you? Mink. A man made of rage and self-assigned justice. You became his toy, a means to an end—and he became interested in you. With a little pain, you earned someone strong, _beastly_ , who can protect you and destroy you.” He grinned, eyes squinting again. “And carve away all of that dull normality. He would have made you what you were before.”

I didn’t want to give him any pain—I knew that’s what he wanted. But I was so mad. I had to hurt him. It was what _I_ wanted! I drew my fist back and brought it against his face. His head turned sharply at my punch, and I jabbed my fist against his face a couple of more times. The stinging in my knuckles was increasing, but I couldn’t stop. When I did, there was a red and purple mark on his pale face. He was staring off into the distance. If anything, that smile was gone. 

At least, it was… for a little while.           

He side glanced up to me and smiled slowly.

            “You see, Aoba? You’re a monster too. Once you let go of all that rage—”

            “The only ‘rage’ I have is for you!” I examined his face as he turned his head back to face me. “What do you want from me!?”

He stared at me in silence, as though he was suddenly entranced. And then next thing I knew, there was a pain jolting through my skull. It was so sudden I thought I was going to pass out. 

            “Unity,” he stated softly. His voice was close; I could feel his breath on my skin.

I gradually opened one eye and looked to him. He was staring at me with those dreamy eyes again. He looked so out of it, as though he were studying a subject! I wanted to hit him again, but the pain. The _pain_. I groaned again softly and reached up to grab his wrist, but his fingers quirked tighter in my hair; I had to give up. The Other pressed a kiss to my cheek, just under my right eye.

            “You and I are two sides of the same coin, Aoba. We’re the same with different minds. We’re different people with the same body. We have the same experience to different degrees. But we can fix that…”

            “F… Fix…”

I felt him smile warmly against my skin, and his fingers loosened slightly. I wish he would free me altogether, but I was dealing with a mad man. Was he really a part of me..?

            “I can’t tell what you’re thinking, Aoba, You’re still separated from me.”

            “I…” I choked out in pain.

Suddenly, my whole world pulsated in one excruciating beat. I thought my heart was going to jump out of my chest, and he was kissing my face gently. The tenderness was unwanted, especially from him, but it was hard to object only because he was still holding onto my hair.

            “Let…”

            “Aoba,” he called to me sweetly, cradling my head with one of his hands. “Black out.”

            “No! I-I…”

            “Sleep now. Sleep it _all away_.”

He laughed then, and my vision started to darken around the edges. I stopped looking at him, and I felt dizzy. I was lightheaded, and I knew I wouldn’t last much longer. I could still hear his mockingly sweet voice soothing me into unconsciousness.

 

            “Soon, you and I will be one, Aoba.”

 

 _We’ll never be apart again_.


	3. Chapter 3

Everything was black. I could feel my arms and legs, but I couldn’t see them. Actually, I felt that something was moving, but I wasn’t sure that there was anything actually attached. I felt suspended from everything else, detached from myself somehow. At least the pain was gone. I thought that he was gone too, but I didn’t want to speak too soon. I had a feeling it wouldn’t be the last I saw of him.

Something touched my face, or what should have been my face. And I felt something touching my lips. I felt chilled, calm. I didn’t object to it. It brought me peace, and I felt like I was dreaming.

And then I heard his voice again.

            _See? It’s not that bad, Aoba._ His laughter echoed through this empty, dark space. _Don’t you see what I can do for you? Absolution. Solidarity. We can feed each other,_ breed _more happiness._

_It’s not the same: your happiness and mine. We want different things. You want pain._

Life _is pain! I’m merely accepting it, manipulating it into pleasure._

 _Can’t we just skip to the pleasure?_  

He clicked his tongue at me. I was almost sure that he was shaking his head, if he really had one. And then slowly I started to heat up. It was inescapable warmth, and slowly, I started to get more and more uncomfortable. I couldn’t squirm away from it. I didn’t know if I was moving into it or if it was just devouring me. It was dragging me closer and closer. I couldn’t get away, and the heat was getting worse! It was burning me alive. 

            _This… is the personification of life, of your hate and anger, of all your frustrations boiling inside of you. I don’t deny_ anything _, Aoba. I embrace everything, and it’s amazing. I want to know more of that pain. I want to pull it apart and absorb it into every part of myself. Can you say the same?_

No! I couldn’t. It wasn’t just physical pain. Emotional, mental. Those weren’t things that I found enjoyable. They were a part of life, but I didn’t want anything to do with them. 

            _N-no._

_No?_

_Once I feel that pain, those different shades of misery, I want nothing more than for those feelings to be over! That’s not a part of life, having to experience that. It’s not enjoyable! It’s not_ great _! I can’t accept that kind of thinking!_

And before I was able to stop myself, I said:

_So I can’t accept anything about you! You’re the real monster!_

The silence was palpable. It was thick on my disembodied tongue. I could feel his critical gaze from all around me. The heat was gone, but I felt eyes all around me. And suddenly everything had stopped.

 _Is that how it is?_ I heard.

            _Y… Yeah._

            _So you would just rather run away because it’s more convenient?_  

He laughed again with that cruel, arrogant laugh of his.

            _And you’re the one in charge! You’re the body! The figure of the two of us. I don’t want you to speak my mind. I want to say everything for myself. If you’re not willing to take that wonderful life on, I’ll take it for you. Let me devour you, Aoba. Let me give you_ everything _one last time._

_No! Wait!_

And I was cut. The limbs I wasn’t even sure I had anymore were being cut with wire; I felt the skin pulling apart in small segments. It wasn’t overwhelming, but it stung. Everywhere. Slowly. And then I felt that kiss on my lips while the heat took over me. It was… strange. It was coming from every direction. My head, my mind, my… consciousness felt stuffy.

I could barely register the kiss, as tender as it was. I was convinced that it was coming from something else. I felt a sigh roll up from where my chest should have been as something reached down and deep, grabbing at my unattached body. Something bent—maybe I arched—as I was touched slowly, intimately. The pleasure splashed over me in gentle waves, offset by the stinging pain everywhere else. It was nice but confusing, and as the lips continued to work against my own, I felt as though I was melting into… something. I couldn’t exactly feel a body, but I could feel a definite presence.

And I didn’t want it. When I resisted, the wire-like feeling cut deeper into my extremities. I heard a noise echo out into the space, and I almost questioned if it came from me. 

            _Why are you running?_

_I’m not—_

_You are._

And I was left alone. Everything had stopped at once. The stinging was still there, but it was quieting down on its own. And I felt nails pricking my temples.

            _You look at me with disgust and detachment. You don’t accept your own dealing in this!_

_Don't blame me for your twisted ways. I’m sick of it._

_Is it_ easier _to play dumb, Aoba? Is it easier to let people take advantage?_

_They don’t._

_They have. They_ do _. You keep wanting to make a difference, but instead, you pout about it like a child. I at least…_ He began to cackle. _I at least open my arms and make a bad situation wonderful. And you find me sick._ He laughed. _At least when I’m broken, I have no regrets. You’ll be swallowed by your own doubts before you realise if your life has any meaning_.

That struck a nasty cord in me. And as I debated whether he was wrong or whether he was insane, images started to filter in, and I, in a disjointed way, could see an outline of my body. He showed me the differences between him and me. Not every instance was the best, but… I… I could see. Even in his wild, maniacal ways, he was at least facing everything head on. And as I thought that, the images faded from existence.

And I could see him walking towards me. At first, he was a solid white figure, but his clothes started to reappear. He approached me with that same blank, bored face as before. I walked towards him, and I felt the weight of my own clothes fall on my shoulders. We came together, standing a couple of arm’s lengths apart. He raised his brows expectantly, and I sighed.

From behind me, the beach world started to shatter into view as the black caked away. I stared at the sand as it started to cover the ground. And when I looked up, I was staring at me.

 

Me, as I am right now.


	4. Chapter 4

I didn’t know what to say. It still made me sick that I had this side of me that went untamed for so long. I didn’t want to approach it, _him_ , but I couldn’t ignore it any longer. I looked up past him towards the eternal sunset and took a moment to settle my thoughts. 

            “So what do you say,” the Other stated, breaking the thoughtful silence. “Will you _finally_ be one with me? Or do I have to fight you for eternity.”

            I shrugged. “I don’t know.”

And the way he stared at him was incredulous. One eye squinted at me while the other widened with a raised brow. I knew that it sounded stupidly indecisive, but I wasn’t sure this was _still_ what I wanted.

            “You’re different. You’ve been festering in the back of my mind forever. You _want_ things that I’m still not comfortable with, that I won’t accept.”

            “So you’re—”

            “ _I’m_ …” I stopped and then relaxed, letting my weight relax back onto my foot, “accepting you.” I reached up and scratched my face. “It’s not easy, but I want to control you instead of fight you.”

            “You can’t control me.” He scoffed, smirking, “but you can _try_.”

            “I will.” I nodded my head, unsurely. Even though I wasn’t looking at him, I could see him walking closer. “If I have to, I will. I won’t live your chaotic life, but I want peace. And I’ll… indulge you.” 

He stopped just in front of me and tilted his head. He seemed satisfied with that. He swayed a little.

            “So what are you saying, Aoba?”

            “That I… We… can work together towards something. I’m not denying that you exist, that you’re… a twisted version of how I react to things. Maybe, over time, we can be together as a single person. We don’t have to fight over things anymore, but we won’t agree.”

            He chuckled and then looked straight into my eyes. “Is that true? Or are you planning to lure me in and smother me?” He raised up his hand. 

I raised up my own, touching his fingertips with my own. We were completely identical, but I know exactly what his true face is. The Other was still staring at me, waiting for me to slip up in my lie, but this time. I wasn’t lying. I laced our fingers together and pulled him close to my body. I acted on impulse, and I kissed myself… His hand reached up and held my neck gently. His fingers touched my hair with care, and then before I knew it, he was gone. 

I stared out at the sandy beach and the gentle, tranquil ocean. I reached a hand up and touched my chest. I guess… it was finally over. This part anyway—there was something to look forward to in the future.

 

“AOBA!”

 

Someone called my name from behind me, and it caused me to whip around suddenly. The forested edge was so much closer now, and the trees parted to reveal some shaded figures. I could see someone reaching out towards me, and the others were calling or trying to… protect me. It was hard to tell from silhouettes alone, but. I ran towards them. 

I ran, and I ran until the pain in my chest blossomed like I was being cut apart. I felt hot. My ears were burning and some parts of me actually hurt. My head was throbbing, but I leaned forward into it. I continued running forward, and when I opened my eyes suddenly, I was on my back, staring up at everyone. Mink and Noiz had their backs to me, and they were looking out for… something. Clear was hovering over me, holding me in his arms. I felt Ren nuzzle my face, just as Clear called out to me.

            “Aoba-san!”

_Aoba-san_. It seemed so refreshing to hear. Mink and Noiz looked back towards me, and someone else spun around. “Aoba!” I tilted my gaze up and leaned my head back. Ah. Koujaku. Clear hugged me tight, and I groaned at the force. 

            “What… happened?”

            “We brought down the tower. We need to get you out of here. You got hurt.”

            “Hurt… I…”

            “Aoba-san! You ran up into the tower and left Ren-kun behind!”

I tilted my head towards Ren, who wiggled his tail at my acknowledgement. My hand felt heavy, but I raised my hand up and pet Ren’s head. He jumped up on me as Clear picked me up. 

Mink let out a grunt and picked me up instead. Koujaku didn’t look happy with it, but he pointed his sword towards the distance. “We have to go _there_!”

I couldn’t see where he was pointing. And to be honest, I didn’t really want to look. I cradled Ren close to my chest as Mink ran forward with us both. I’ll ask what happened later. I already had so many things to digest. I don't know if I got a new lease on life, but at least I had a reason to do everything better.

At least this time I knew, I realised, I wasn’t alone. Nothing was standing in my way anymore.

 

                        Ah, _our_ way…


End file.
